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One day Sheela and Shubha were discussing about their husbands. Sheela: My husband loves her mother more than does he love me. Shubha: How do u know that? Sheela: Yesterday,I asked him if I and his mother were drowning,whom of the 2 wud he save? Shubha: What did he say? Sheela: His mother, ofcourse. What shud I do now? Shubha: Start learning Swimming.
Doctor: Did u take my advice about ur insomnia and count before going to sleep? Patient: Yes.I got as far as 24,534 and then it was time to get up.
The newly married couple was in a restaurant and both of them agreed upon the same dish. Husband: U see, we are just like one person. Wife: I know sweetheart, but don't forget to order lunch for two.
Wife: Im ashamed of the way we live; papa pays the house rent, my brother sends food and clothing, aunty pays our electric and water bills and my friend Sheela buys us movie tickets.I dont like to complain but now its too much. Husband: U shud be ashamed; uve still got 1 sister and 2 brothers, who dont send us even a single penny.
Son: Dad,wat is an idiot? Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him cant understand him.Do u understand me? Son: No.
Viru and Jai met each other after 10yrs. Jai: By now, ur son must have reached college…how is he doing there? Viru: He s very thorough…he spends 3yrs. in every class.
2 hunters were out in the woods when 1 of them collapsed. He doesnt seemed to be breathing and his eyes were glazed. The other guy took out his phone and called the emergency services.He gasped: My friend is dead! What can I do? Operator:Calm down,I can help. Ist,lets make sure he s dead. There was a silence,then a gunshot was heard. Back on the phone,the guy said:Ok, now what?
Raj went into a pub,asked for a scotch,drank it and got up to leave. The barman yelled,Hey, where s my money? Raj:I paid u. Then Jai came in,drank a scotch and did the same. When a 3rd man entered and ordered a scotch,the barman told him,2 men came in and asked for scotch just like u then left saying they d paid. What do u think about that?Man: Stop babbling and give me my change
10 men and a girl were hanging on to a rope that extends down from a helicopter. The weight of 11 people was too much for the rope,so 1 of them had to jump.No one cud decide who shud go,until finally the girl volunteered.She gave a touching speech,saying she will sacrifice her life to save others.When she finished speaking, all the men started clapping.
Manager: Leave ur address and we ll call u when we need an old stenographer. Applicant: Old stenographer? But I m a young one. Manager: Never mind. By the time we call u, u ll be an old one.
What time does the library open? the man on the phone asked. Librarian:9A.M. But why did u call me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that? Not until 9A.M.? the man asked in a disappointed voice. Librarian:No, not till nine A.M. But why do u want to get in before 9A.M.?Who said I wanted to get in? the man sighed sadly. I want to get out.
